How are your workplace manners?
According to a story today on Yahoo News, Mind your workplace manners — it pays, a “survey, by Australian-based international office space provider Servcorp, listed the top five most offensive workplace behaviors as not saying hello or good morning, not offering office guests a beverage, speaking loudly across the room, using swear words and taking calls on mobile phones.”
Say what?
Not saying hello or good morning? Taking calls on mobile phones? Using swear words?
Aw, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
That’s nothin’. Here are three real violations of office etiquette, which all qualify as pure PIPE JOBS:
1) The bean counter in the cubicle next to you plays *NSYNC and other boy bands on his stereo all day. In addition to the overwhelming desire to destroy his stereo, it may be time to kick his ass.
2) The TV in the break room is tuned to The View every day. This was especially infuriating back when that dumbass loudmouth Rosie O’Donnell was on there. Gosh, how you wanted to tell Rosie to start her morning by drinking a big, hot cup of Shut the F*#k Up. Well, Rosie may be gone, but that show needs to go with her.
3) Some asshole left a huge steamer in the office john. Those two cups of coffee have got that half-pound breakfast burrito you fired down this morning really moving through your bowels. You rush to the stall — you know, the big one in the corner of the john that you always like to use — and lo and behold, some prick took a dump and didn’t flush it. Even worse, you try to flush it and the toilet backs up.
Yeah, that’s a PIPE JOB — no pun intended.
