I’m trying to figure how many people in this country are worried the porn industry is gonna go belly-up.
Yep, didn’t think there were too many of you.
By now I’m sure you’ve all heard, however, it is no joke — the porn industry thinks it should be bailed out.
“The government’s handing out money to the auto industry,” Joe Francis, producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series, told the LA Daily News (Porn industry seeks $5 billion federal bailout). “Why shouldn’t it hand some to an industry the nation could not live without?”
Sure, Joe. As a taxpayer, I feel for you.
Forget about the fact I felt like I got bent over pretty good with those first two bailouts. But for you, Joe, and all the other kings of smut who have been raking it in and living large all these years, I feel your pain. It’s gotta be rough making it on your paycheck. Heck, why only ask for $5 billion? You deserve more.
I got an idea, Joe. How about you work free for a week and put the dough you would’ve made towards a media campaign aimed at the downloaders of free Internet porn. Tell ‘em to step up and start paying for it! Heck, I know money’s tight in these tough economic times, but dammit — they can forgo putting food on the table so they can drop $20 or $30 on one of your DVDs.
Ask Larry Flynt to help you. Here’s what Flynt reportedly had to say about the proposed bailout: “People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex.”
You know what we can do without, Larry? Another PIPE JOB.
1 Comment
January 13, 2009 at 8:03 pm
As a convenience store owner who sells a lot of pornography I can attest to the fact that sales are down…I think the pornographers need a bail out. And I’d like to see the beer companies and tobacco companies get them too. I’m hurting here…these are the 3 cornerstones of my business and our society. Porn + Smokes + Beer = Economic Success and Healthy Communities